How do you move on from someone when you know it's over
May 30, 2019
Being in love can be the most beautiful thing you'll ever feel, but that love can also turn out to be the thing that will break you in the end. Sometimes things with the one person you thought could be the love of your life don't work and you're left wondering how the f*ck you can move on.
Moving on and and getting over someone can be one of the hardest things you have to do in life, specially if you saw a future with them.
So how the hell do you move on?
I have had my heart broken before. I know how it feels to cry yourself to sleep wondering why it didn't work out and why you weren't enough, but the truth is sometimes some things are just not meant to be.
Get your closure from them. This is the first step for you to be able to heal. Tell them everything you ever wanted to tell them, how much you hate them, how much you love them, etc. Make sure you won't regret not saying something in the end. Then say goodbye forever. If they let you leave without a fight then they are not worth it anyways. It's going to hurt like hell. Allow yourself to be sad. To be angry. But you have to wake up everyday and continue your life without them.
Here's the thing - You can't keep choosing someone who doesn't choose you. You can't. Because your person is going to be your person for the rest of your life. Not just when you're young and things are perfect, but when things get messy and you make mistakes and the world is less shiny. You have to make sure that you have someone by your side that wants to be there. Someone who wants to support you and encourage you. Someone who gives you just as much as effort as you give them. Someone who wants to hear your laugh, and make breakfast with you, and listen to all of your dumb jokes for twenty, or thirty, or fifty years. Because there are difficult things in life, really hard and haunted things that make it heavy and hurtful at times. But love should not be one of those things. Love should hold your hand and help you brave those storms. Love should be your safe place. So please, just don't give the best parts of yourself to someone who doesn't see the value in what they are receiving. Don't settle for someone who doesn't look at you and know, without hesitation, that they want to stay.
At one point you will realise that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. It's not like you're giving up and it's not like you shouldn't try. It's that you just have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.
Since every person deals with it differently I asked my closest friends how they deal with their heart being broken so you guys can have a different perspective.
"You will have to try to think that you have done the possible and impossible to make it work and that if for some reason it didn't, it's because you were not meant to be with that person. You should try to distract yourself with the things you love the most in the world because only then you will be able to stop thinking so much about what might have been.
You must also surround yourself with those people who are always there for you. They are going to make you see that there is still light at the end of the tunnel and that you still have plenty of time to find the right person. "
You must also surround yourself with those people who are always there for you. They are going to make you see that there is still light at the end of the tunnel and that you still have plenty of time to find the right person. "
(Alright this one is big, I guess she was inspired, but hell, some good advices here!!)
"There is no special recipe to get through a breakup or to simply
forget someone. It’s something each one of us will have to face at some point
in our lives and it’s difficult to find the perfect way to just “erase” the
other person’s existence from our memories. The bad news? We can’t just do
that. The good news? Well, we can find ways to progressively live without them,
without feeling guilty or hurt.
My first advice when trying to move on is to allow yourself to feel all the pain, just cry it out. This is an important step as it gives us space to just release all the bad feeling that the situation left us with. Think of all the questions: why it happened that way, what you could have done differently, why it couldn’t be saved and hopefully get to a conclusion.
Now, it doesn’t matter whose fault it is, what matters now is that after having time to process your grief, you can now step back into the world and make some changes to alleviate the process.
Start by erasing their contact, old text messages or any connection you still maintain with them. This is a very hard, yet important step to get a hold of your life. You don’t want to see something that might hurt you again and send you back to square one, so it’s best that you get the courage to delete their existence from your life.
Next, you want to redirect your focus to something a bit more productive, it can either be your job or school. When focusing on other responsibilities, our minds get trained to leave other thoughts behind and focus on the task at hand. Another important aspect to keep you busy are your friends and family. We all need a support system, right? It’s easier to go through recovery with the help of your loved ones. Plan a night out with your friends, a trip to the beach, a walk, or a shopping trip. This is meant to help you by giving you people you can vent with and it also distracts you from the matter, as you will be too busy listening to their life stories and enjoying the view.
My last advice: get a hobby. Yes, this is very helpful to fill your life and give you back a sense of purpose. Why not try something new? A new sport, learn to play a new instrument, get dance classes, turn to a modern Picasso, or become the next big best-selling author. Whatever you choose as your hobby, make it fun for you and enjoy it fully.
Hopefully these steps can help with your loss. But whatever you do, never forget to be in charge of your own happiness, that’s what matters the most."
My first advice when trying to move on is to allow yourself to feel all the pain, just cry it out. This is an important step as it gives us space to just release all the bad feeling that the situation left us with. Think of all the questions: why it happened that way, what you could have done differently, why it couldn’t be saved and hopefully get to a conclusion.
Now, it doesn’t matter whose fault it is, what matters now is that after having time to process your grief, you can now step back into the world and make some changes to alleviate the process.
Start by erasing their contact, old text messages or any connection you still maintain with them. This is a very hard, yet important step to get a hold of your life. You don’t want to see something that might hurt you again and send you back to square one, so it’s best that you get the courage to delete their existence from your life.
Next, you want to redirect your focus to something a bit more productive, it can either be your job or school. When focusing on other responsibilities, our minds get trained to leave other thoughts behind and focus on the task at hand. Another important aspect to keep you busy are your friends and family. We all need a support system, right? It’s easier to go through recovery with the help of your loved ones. Plan a night out with your friends, a trip to the beach, a walk, or a shopping trip. This is meant to help you by giving you people you can vent with and it also distracts you from the matter, as you will be too busy listening to their life stories and enjoying the view.
My last advice: get a hobby. Yes, this is very helpful to fill your life and give you back a sense of purpose. Why not try something new? A new sport, learn to play a new instrument, get dance classes, turn to a modern Picasso, or become the next big best-selling author. Whatever you choose as your hobby, make it fun for you and enjoy it fully.
Hopefully these steps can help with your loss. But whatever you do, never forget to be in charge of your own happiness, that’s what matters the most."
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