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       Being in love can be the most beautiful thing you'll ever feel, but that love can also turn out to be the thing that will break you in the end. Sometimes things with the one person you thought could be the love of your life don't work and you're left wondering how the f*ck you can move on. 
       Moving on and and getting over someone can be one of the hardest things you have to do in life, specially if you saw a future with them.

    So how the hell do you move on?

       I have had my heart broken before. I know how it feels to cry yourself to sleep wondering why it didn't work out and why you weren't enough, but the truth is sometimes some things are just not meant to be. 

       Get your closure from them. This is the first step for you to be able to heal. Tell them everything you ever wanted to tell them, how much you hate them, how much you love them, etc. Make sure you won't regret not saying something in the end. Then say goodbye forever. If they let you leave without a fight then they are not worth it anyways. It's going to hurt like hell. Allow yourself to be sad. To be angry. But you have to wake up everyday and continue your life without them. 

       Here's the thing - You can't keep choosing someone who doesn't choose you. You can't. Because your person is going to be your person for the rest of your life. Not just when you're young and things are perfect, but when things get messy and you make mistakes and the world is less shiny. You have to make sure that you have someone by your side that wants to be there. Someone who wants to support you and encourage you. Someone who gives you just as much as effort as you give them. Someone who wants to hear your laugh, and make breakfast with you, and listen to all of your dumb jokes for twenty, or thirty, or fifty years. Because there are difficult things in life, really hard and haunted things that make it heavy and hurtful at times. But love should not be one of those things. Love should hold your hand and help you brave those storms. Love should be your safe place. So please, just don't give the best parts of yourself to someone who doesn't see the value in what they are receiving. Don't settle for someone who doesn't look at you and know, without hesitation, that they want to stay.

       At one point you will realise that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. It's not like you're giving up and it's not like you shouldn't try. It's that you just have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

    Since every person deals with it differently I asked my closest friends how they deal with their heart being broken so you guys can have a different perspective.


         "You will have to try to think that you have done the possible and impossible to make it work and that if for some reason it didn't, it's because you were not meant to be with that person. You should try to distract yourself with the things you love the most in the world because only then you will be able to stop thinking so much about what might have been.
          You must also surround yourself with those people who are always there for you. They are going to make you see that there is still light at the end of the tunnel and that you still have plenty of time to find the right person. "



    (Alright this one is big, I guess she was inspired, but hell, some good advices here!!)

       "There is no special recipe to get through a breakup or to simply forget someone. It’s something each one of us will have to face at some point in our lives and it’s difficult to find the perfect way to just “erase” the other person’s existence from our memories. The bad news? We can’t just do that. The good news? Well, we can find ways to progressively live without them, without feeling guilty or hurt.
       My first advice when trying to move on is to allow yourself to feel all the pain, just cry it out. This is an important step as it gives us space to just release all the bad feeling that the situation left us with. Think of all the questions: why it happened that way, what you could have done differently, why it couldn’t be saved and hopefully get to a conclusion.
       Now, it doesn’t matter whose fault it is, what matters now is that after having time to process your grief, you can now step back into the world and make some changes to alleviate the process.
       Start by erasing their contact, old text messages or any connection you still maintain with them. This is a very hard, yet important step to get a hold of your life. You don’t want to see something that might hurt you again and send you back to square one, so it’s best that you get the courage to delete their existence from your life.
       Next, you want to redirect your focus to something a bit more productive, it can either be your job or school. When focusing on other responsibilities, our minds get trained to leave other thoughts behind and focus on the task at hand. Another important aspect to keep you busy are your friends and family. We all need a support system, right? It’s easier to go through recovery with the help of your loved ones. Plan a night out with your friends, a trip to the beach, a walk, or a shopping trip. This is meant to help you by giving you people you can vent with and it also distracts you from the matter, as you will be too busy listening to their life stories and enjoying the view.
       My last advice: get a hobby. Yes, this is very helpful to fill your life and give you back a sense of purpose. Why not try something new? A new sport, learn to play a new instrument, get dance classes, turn to a modern Picasso, or become the next big best-selling author. Whatever you choose as your hobby, make it fun for you and enjoy it fully.
       Hopefully these steps can help with your loss. But whatever you do, never forget to be in charge of your own happiness, that’s what matters the most."
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       It's been a rough few years, to be honest, and even though I wanted to become a more positive person, life happens and things don't go our away. 
    Remember the update where I told you guys things were starting to look good? Well, they were. And then my dad passed away. And my world went down hill again. I found myself at the age of 23, without the two people that would love me no matter what. How does someone deal with that, you may ask. I can't tell you the answer because I'm not sure I know it myself. 
       I tried to deal with it the best way I could, life moves on and I know it won't stop for anything or anyone, so I kept living. One day at the time. But doing that, trying to move on while pretending nothing happened, made it all worst. I started feeling lost. It was a weird feeling, like life was on automatic mode. Everyday my life was the same, wake up, go to work, go home, sleep, repeat. I didn't take care of myself, the time I had off my mind kept telling me how nothing was worth it anymore, and somehow, I didn't realize how bad I was getting. 
       I broke down one day and told my significant other that I wanted to die. It was the first time I said it out loud, and cliche as it sounds, it was the first time it felt real. But it was also the first time that I realized something was really wrong. That somehow, I needed to fix it.
       I'm in no way ok again, it's been hard and it's been a slow walk, a walk that most of the times, I feel like I can't keep making it. But I have to. I was given this life and I'm the only one who can fix it.
       I don't know what the future is going to be like, but I have this feeling that a lot of things are going to change, soon, and I don't know whether I should be afraid or excited. Maybe both, definitely both. 

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      Me and my boyfriend met on twitter. We clicked and started speaking everyday but there was a problem: distance. Even though I really liked him, I was afraid it wasn't going to work. I was 17 years old and I never had a serious boyfriend before. Was I really going to fall in love with someone I didn't meet before? Yeap, you guessed it. I did.
      We dated an year long distance and eventually I went to the same college as him so the distance wasn't a problem anymore for 3 years, but before that we had to find ways to make it work, and today I'm going to share some of the things I learned with you.

    Communication

      Communication is key when it comes to any relationship, but when it comes to being in a ldr, it becomes the main point on if you two are going to work. You have, as a couple, to be able to have time to eachother and talk about everything. You can't be with them physically so you can't see in their face if something is wrong or be there for them when they most need it. You have to talk. Even if it hurts, you have to be open and sincere about every little aspect of your life and relationship. You have to MAKE time for the other person, because communication is all you're going to have for a while.

    Trust

      In any relationship, if you can't trust your partner, there's no point in being together. In a ldr, you can't know what your partner is doing, if they are lying about who is he/she with, what he/she is doing or if they are loyal to you. So, you have to trust. You have to trust that they would never do anything to hurt you and that everything they do, is with your best interest in their mind. There can't be any doubts when it comes to a ldr, otherwise it will just ruin the good relationship you both could have.

    Virtual dates

      I know this is cliche and probably a little cringe for some of you reading this, but dating is essencial, even if you can't be together. Skype (or similar) is a life saver when it comes to FEELING like you are with them. Whether it's watching a movie or tv show together, eating a meal at the same time or having a deep talk about how you want to spend the rest of your life with eachother, being able to spend a little time hearing their voice and seeing their faces, even from a computer screen, does wonders to your relationship. Just because you aren't together, doesn't mean you can't do things together. Be creative, light a candle and have a romantic dinner date with them. 

    Sexual life

      Worst thing about not being with them is the fact you can't touch them. This means not being able to hug them or hold their hand, but it also means that you can't have a physical relationship, aka no sexual intercourse. But this doesn't mean you can't have sexy time with your SO. There are so many creative ways to turn on your partner and still have a good time, even if apart. My advice is to be careful, sending pictures/videos is always risky and we all have heard at least once how that turned out very wrong for some people, but if you fully trust eachother, it can turn out to be such a great experience and the flame, oh, the flame won't go anywhere. 

    Work towards being together in the future

      Of course when we are with someone, we want to be together eventually, but you can't just wait for that to happen. You have to work together towards that, make plans on how that can become a possibility in the future and realise if you're willing to take risks and give in some of your life to be together, whether that means one of you has to be willing to move to another country or/and lose their current job, and the most difficult thing, move away from their family and friends. It's hard and it's going to be difficult sometimes, but if you can't see your future together as one, then you need to make sure if that's what you really want. 


      Being in a long distance relationship can be hard. Not being able to hold someone when they need you or having your heart broken because you miss them with all that you have, it's not easy at all, but I do believe that if you love someone and you two work on making it work, it can be one of the most beautiful things you can ever experience. Because if your relationship can work even if you two are apart, you will be unstoppable once you are together. 
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    Skye Digital Marketing Manager

    A 23 years old girl with a passion for writing and willing to change her life. Read More

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