It's been a rough few years, to be honest, and even though I wanted to become a more positive person, life happens and things don't go our away. 

Remember the update where I told you guys things were starting to look good? Well, they were. And then my dad passed away. And my world went down hill again. I found myself at the age of 23, without the two people that would love me no matter what. How does someone deal with that, you may ask. I can't tell you the answer because I'm not sure I know it myself. 

   I tried to deal with it the best way I could, life moves on and I know it won't stop for anything or anyone, so I kept living. One day at the time. But doing that, trying to move on while pretending nothing happened, made it all worst. I started feeling lost. It was a weird feeling, like life was on automatic mode. Everyday my life was the same, wake up, go to work, go home, sleep, repeat. I didn't take care of myself, the time I had off my mind kept telling me how nothing was worth it anymore, and somehow, I didn't realize how bad I was getting. 

   I broke down one day and told my significant other that I wanted to die. It was the first time I said it out loud, and cliche as it sounds, it was the first time it felt real. But it was also the first time that I realized something was really wrong. That somehow, I needed to fix it.

   I'm in no way ok again, it's been hard and it's been a slow walk, a walk that most of the times, I feel like I can't keep making it. But I have to. I was given this life and I'm the only one who can fix it.

   I don't know what the future is going to be like, but I have this feeling that a lot of things are going to change, soon, and I don't know whether I should be afraid or excited. Maybe both, definitely both. 

  Me and my boyfriend met on twitter. We clicked and started speaking everyday but there was a problem: distance. Even though I really liked him, I was afraid it wasn't going to work. I was 17 years old and I never had a serious boyfriend before. Was I really going to fall in love with someone I didn't meet before? Yeap, you guessed it. I did.

  We dated an year long distance and eventually I went to the same college as him so the distance wasn't a problem anymore for 3 years, but before that we had to find ways to make it work, and today I'm going to share some of the things I learned with you.

  Communication is key when it comes to any relationship, but when it comes to being in a ldr, it becomes the main point on if you two are going to work. You have, as a couple, to be able to have time to eachother and talk about everything. You can't be with them physically so you can't see in their face if something is wrong or be there for them when they most need it. You have to talk. Even if it hurts, you have to be open and sincere about every little aspect of your life and relationship. You have to MAKE time for the other person, because communication is all you're going to have for a while.

  In any relationship, if you can't trust your partner, there's no point in being together. In a ldr, you can't know what your partner is doing, if they are lying about who is he/she with, what he/she is doing or if they are loyal to you. So, you have to trust. You have to trust that they would never do anything to hurt you and that everything they do, is with your best interest in their mind. There can't be any doubts when it comes to a ldr, otherwise it will just ruin the good relationship you both could have.

  I know this is cliche and probably a little cringe for some of you reading this, but dating is essencial, even if you can't be together. Skype (or similar) is a life saver when it comes to FEELING like you are with them. Whether it's watching a movie or tv show together, eating a meal at the same time or having a deep talk about how you want to spend the rest of your life with eachother, being able to spend a little time hearing their voice and seeing their faces, even from a computer screen, does wonders to your relationship. Just because you aren't together, doesn't mean you can't do things together. Be creative, light a candle and have a romantic dinner date with them. 

  Worst thing about not being with them is the fact you can't touch them. This means not being able to hug them or hold their hand, but it also means that you can't have a physical relationship, aka no sexual intercourse. But this doesn't mean you can't have sexy time with your SO. There are so many creative ways to turn on your partner and still have a good time, even if apart. My advice is to be careful, sending pictures/videos is always risky and we all have heard at least once how that turned out very wrong for some people, but if you fully trust eachother, it can turn out to be such a great experience and the flame, oh, the flame won't go anywhere. 

  Of course when we are with someone, we want to be together eventually, but you can't just wait for that to happen. You have to work together towards that, make plans on how that can become a possibility in the future and realise if you're willing to take risks and give in some of your life to be together, whether that means one of you has to be willing to move to another country or/and lose their current job, and the most difficult thing, move away from their family and friends. It's hard and it's going to be difficult sometimes, but if you can't see your future together as one, then you need to make sure if that's what you really want. 

  Being in a long distance relationship can be hard. Not being able to hold someone when they need you or having your heart broken because you miss them with all that you have, it's not easy at all, but I do believe that if you love someone and you two work on making it work, it can be one of the most beautiful things you can ever experience. Because if your relationship can work even if you two are apart, you will be unstoppable once you are together. 

9 months after my last post, I'm here. I can't come up with a real reason to why I was away, I guess life has been changing a lot and my priorities are others, so this blog had to be on pause.